FOR BETTER OR WORSE & THEN SOME | TV & DVDS BUILT OUR RELATIONSHIP!

Parris & Vince bring you a podcast full of laughs and conversation about their marraige the good, the bad and then some. This episode they discuss how much television shows like The Office and renting DVDs from the library mad their relationship what it is today?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

What's going on, everybody? This is for better or worse than then some podcasts. Oh snap. Yeah, yeah. New name and everything. You know, just uh ask uh ChatGPT for a quick logo and uh whoop there it is. So this is uh there it is This is uh I know that's right Okay uh so we got um this is the uh for better or worse in this um podcast it is your host Vince with my wife Paris How you feeling like that yeah okay I was gonna say welcome back but oh yeah for those who let me reintroduce myself Oh hey allow me to reintroduce my now my name is I don't have that drop but um we used to go by the first and only podcast um for those who was with us years ago yeah I was the first because I'm the firstborn um Vince's only child we're both both firstborn just the onlyborn after me that's true and you know so um but we are uh back because uh we not beefing no more I'm kidding no we we we we we did kind of get we ran into a really rough spot in in in our marriage for for a little while so it it caused us to stop depart and um we had to come back and be like I think we can pick this back up again I think we can we can do this so I remember it's funny because I think I found one of the old episodes when we were trying to like still do it while we were I don't even remember I'll be I'm it it was it was kind of right we were talking about the issues on the pod and without prepping I'm assuming of course yeah without prepping so emotions got high yeah see I don't remember it but I can assume what happened yeah it was it was and it was one of those ones where we I think we had to time off we came back but it was like still like fresh and we had tried to come in and it was just it was not good it was not good um it was so we are back now you know I'm saying oh that's wrong but it's I guess I guess though that is the I was just saying that's the right that is the right song uh drop for how it was when we tried it um years ago but how now that we are back uh parents how how are things with you kind of update people about how you've been what kind of broad question is that tell them what's been that for the last couple years listen surviving surviving surviving listen what's that one good scratching that survived good times good turns ain't we look I thought you was gonna join in with me ain't we look now we got him yeah boom boom boom boom good time I knew you wasn't before that's all you that's that was my show I remember Vibbl vi vively vividly vividly being traumatized when Penny got burned so yeah I didn't I didn't see that episode that traumatized me obviously you how old were you I mean I had to probably be like 10 oh and I'm like what is she doing then of course you know they don't show it but they like they let you dramatic like yeah and I'm like oh next thing you know she got like gauze on her or something like that man what it was on her face and everything I think she had like a patch on her face dang she went for her face a patch on her arm or something like that yeah it was it was crazy crazy which is wow this time it was a it was a good show for what it tried to what it represented but it was a tough show to watch sometimes it was like nah that wasn't the show I was watching no I was watching Disney pretty much I was watching Disney movies hey Arnold cartoon when I was five I mean not five when I was 10 sorry well guys uh Paris and I we have been married for 11 years we have been together for 18 years um we started dating in 2009 our first date was in 2009 um February 2009 we went to go see uh Medea goes to jail was it Medea goes to jail or daddy's girl no it was Medea goes to jail because I just know it was a Tyler Perry booty yeah I think it was Medea goes to jail okay I think it was Medea goes to jail um all right and we were friends for two years before that was it you or a year I'm sorry we were friends for we were friends for a year I know I don't always remember the math but it wasn't that long you're right but we were friends for a year before that um we met at church um we've mined together we've sung and rapped together we've toured together we've traveled together we have a beautiful seven year old daughter named Kobe and a wonderful but energetic mess of a dog no I just say she's a furry toddler she's a big furry baby yeah uh Luna our dog and um and that's us you know I was thinking about what we were going to talk about for this pod and I was thinking about like about how one we were watching Abbott at the Mercer last night and how like I said you remind uh the main character you remind me of her what's her name Janine Janine you remind me of Janine and I was thinking it made me go back to thinking about like how the office we watched plenty of reruns over the phone I wanted to I would that's what I wanted I was thinking of like a a name for the title of the episode I was thinking like the office defined our marriage or our relationship like that was us for like all those years. It felt like as we grew up with the office or as we grew up the office kind of grew up with us because it was like we started off as Jim and Pam in their young stage and then as they got older like we got older too and it was kind of like the same reflection then. Right right so it was just but it was just like how the office was kind of like our thing. That was like the first thing I remember us having together I think we were friends though when we first started watching the office? Yeah over the phone because we would watch that we would watch anti-growth show we would watch anti-growth show um it was something else and it just it's so crazy because I think about the anti-growth show and I remember like watching that by myself as a kid and I remember being like very interested by it because I just thought like wow all this stuff is worth so much money and I'm just like man I never told a soul until we started dating and you was like oh yeah I love it and I was like we were talking about shows and like we watched it growing up and I was like oh I love a lot of shows on PBS.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

Yes he was like what I was like yes I used to watch Bob Ross right that's why he's one of my favorite people and yeah I used to watch um antique row show and a lot of these shows I used to watch with my dad so that was like the icing and that's what I'm saying like that's why I was like I never told up appearances giving up appearances uh Mr.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Bean like watching all that these are classic PBS shows at night are you being served that's are you being served um BBC had a hold on me red because it was dwarf yeah because it was a PBS and it was like I didn't have cable so this these were my shows like at night that I could watch on like the weekends and stuff when everything because it was funny me and Sean my my my best friend uh Sean we were talking about how uh you knew when it was time to go to bed when MASH came on and we talked about how I love that the music I hated MASH we talked about how like you never we've never seen past that that and that was it like as soon as you heard them first horns and you saw that chopper in the air you were turning the channel you knew turn TV off there's nothing else soon as that TV off like I never made it past them six horns and that that helicopter I've never seen nothing else of MAS so it was funny because we were talking about that so I was like man I remember watching those shows on BBC or um PBC um so when we started being friends and we were watching though or I started sharing with you like these were shows that I watched and you started sharing like similar shows that I was watching and I was like she's the one she's the one she gotta be the one there's no other woman that I could there's no other girl I could tell this and she'd be totally all in like not only do you know the shows you're adding shows that I'm like yes that too I'm like yes she's the one we're watch we're sitting here watching antique road show talking about how much you want to best how much you think it is um a hundred to a hundred and fifty thousand okay I'm gonna say um I'm gonna say two hundred thousand oh it was 178 I was close and I'm like who else could I do this with? I'm like yep that she's it she's the one she's the one as funny as that sounds so I'm like man but the office was like that that show that it was like you introduced that one yeah you obviously I had never heard of it I it is crazy I don't remember like how I remember started watching it I think it was like a regular again it was just reruns and I think at the time it was like on WB or it was on WB again because we wasn't watching cable it was local TV yeah it was channel 20 and we were watching like a lot of the reruns and in doing that we ended up well at some point it kind of yeah at some point though the reruns kind of like cycled to like being on track like because I think at first they might have showed a couple reruns but then like eventually it was like on track to like we were being able to tune in. That's what it would used to be they would show a rerun episode and then a current and then a current episode and so we would we was catching it like that and I think one day on a Saturday or a Friday or Sunday or something like that I just happened to watch that and I was like this is hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

I'm like I gotta gotta tell uh parents about this we did a lot of interesting stuff that year as friends and then switch into dating like again I I said we watch it over the phone and it's because my mom oh boy she was strict for good reason but we would have to talk and watch the stuff at the same time and be on the phone like I didn't have again FaceTime wasn't a huge thing back then. I think it wasn't even a thing Skype was just starting yeah we just had gotten Skype and sometimes that was it we didn't even have FaceTime but we were literally just talking and watching yeah over the phone we were watching movies over the phone yes over you would go rent movies and would you ain't no bush you gave me a list but I'm saying like how did did I have the movies?

SPEAKER_00 12:41

Yes and then I told you to go get them you gave me a list okay because I didn't know if I was like sometimes you used to rent them for me and I don't know if you were renting like double copies so that I could have one you could have one.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

No I think it depend on the movie but most of most of them I already had at home yeah I had DVDs and I'm walking in the library holding like 10 15 DVDs and I'm scanning on they like this girl little hustle movies. Now granted you the DVDs you can't rent or check out as long as books yeah so I'm sitting here like dang I done checked out 10 15 of these they only good for like a week I gotta take them back.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

But we was cram we was cramming the movies in every night though we'd watch like two still I still had late fees and stuff racking up then if it was new it was even less time that I can oh yeah I had to return it even sooner so yeah but some of those like the newer ones we would get because we would like plan for like a date night or something um but yeah yeah for sure set me up he had me watching uh what's that one movie what movie training day I had never seen it oh man I've never seen training day and for people that don't know I don't cuss don't bruh it's true I think he does not first off we just made a joke about this we used to I I'm Paris I only cuss when I'm scared and angry I don't but watching training day again a lot of the times the movies that Vince already saw he's literally like re-watching it but he's waiting for my reaction at the same time oh that was the best part of those times was watching movies that I know was gonna happen you don't know what's gonna happen at the other end of the phone I can't we're not in person not even in person I'm just literally listening over the phone for my reaction yeah granted we it's funny because again whenever we would start the movie I'd be like what's the time and you'd be like alright I'm at 302 so then I had to let it play and I'm like all right I'm at 301 302 and we would have to try to sync it up to try to sync it up yeah before before YouTubers was like hey we're gonna react to this movie sync it up with us and watch it like we were doing that in real over the phone over the phone but anyway he I could tell like it would get real quiet on his side of the phone and I'm like why is he so quiet and I'd be like well what's about to happen he's like you got to keep watching you got so and like he would do that a lot for like the ones he already saw and he knew what was covered up and that it was gonna like cause a reaction somewhere anyway I was talking about training today and again how I don't cuss but train well I don't know what scene it was but he got sorry slapped the mess out of him and I was just like oh my goodness did they just B slap him and he was like oh I didn't even realize you said it so confidently I didn't even realize he big slap him I died laughing yes he just kept laughing I was like oh my goodness I'm so sorry y'all gotta understand like Paris is a Paris was very sheltered growing up Paris was she comes from a very good family very good background and very good background very good background and that's again and it's not to say I wasn't around people that did I just wasn't my thing you were a very God fearing one young girl and you still have I'm just saying at that time it just wasn't my you just weren't you weren't doing those things you weren't using that language and it was just so uh amazing for you to hear you did he just bitch I die like caught me so off guard that whole movie had me on edge though oh my god whole movie had me on edge I said oh my gosh when you when you look back on that like that that time and you think about like getting the movies watching them over the phone the all the experiences of like learning new movies along the way talking about them as we watched them stuff like that like when you think of that what did that mean to you in our in our friendship period and in our dating period like how important was that to you as far as like what it meant to you what it meant about our relationship what it meant about like you getting to know a guy this type of way like what how important was it that had never happened again I think um I think I would say it meant a lot just because again we literally we took time to have to watch all those movies like it was a lot of movies like some of them was trilogies like we was watching trilogies some of these was trilogy like all the Resident Evils like we were watching like trilogies and and and sets and stuff so I appreciated just how passionate you were about the movies and just your willingness to share that with me and then take time to like actually watch them.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

Now granted you had probably already watched them a bajillion times. Oh yeah for sure oh for sure I mean when you start getting into like some of my cult favorites you know Lord of the Rings Back to the Future you know things like those movies you know I I've seen them a billion times over like The Matrix stuff like that is like I've watched these movies a hundred and fifty thousand times like I've uh and I will watch them again like they it's the first but I think it meant a lot because again all the different like movies we were watching it just gave opportunity for us to like talk about different things yeah I learn each other's perspectives on different things and it it was in a natural way because the medium was the movie like we didn't have to feel I guess the pressure of sitting face to face and trying to come up right stuff to talk about or like deep thought provoking questions for me to get insight on how you think about stuff or what makes you map like all that naturally comes up when we're watching the office and something happens in that episode you like well this makes me feel like this because of this and then I'm like well that I didn't feel that way I felt the opposite because of this like I I think because like it really really helped us to get to know each other quickly yeah it's one of those things like I think especially because at that time like when earlier when we were friends you you were into this other guy.

SPEAKER_00 19:49

Oh here we go you were into this other guy here we go like you wasn't out here like he wasn't still out here that black book wasn't getting clipped pages yo first though I did have a black book but the You said you did or you didn't I did okay but you were into another guy which which is fair you were and at that time when we were watching office Jim was like in pan but she was with Roy she was engaged to Roy and I used to just be like Parents don't you see like this is us uh and it was just so like it's very interesting because those times to me like we were just so careless about like life like it was it was like when we were watching office or we were watching a movie it was like all about that moment. You know what I'm saying? Like we were watching this movie together and I'm enjoying exposing you to something because you hadn't seen a lot of movies listen y'all had not seen a lot of movies.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

But this is why this is why a lot of the movies you watched came out when I was like seven or eight so there was no way my mom or dad was gonna let me like my mom for sure was not gonna let me watch that. Well some of those older movies like Bad Boys and you know Training Day and Back to the Future wasn't bad but that wasn't on her radar for her to be like oh let's watch this like certain or like movies like that yeah like I don't think dad I would watch it with him. I don't think you hadn't seen stuff like Boys in the Hood no um you know stuff like that um Poetic Justice right um Minister Society Society so he basically threatened to take my black car because I hadn't watched none of these hood classics I never saw any of this she like I'm black listen we was watching Remember the Titans you guys serve and that is Those are the I'm here to tell you right now.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

Listen, we don't care. We do not know. Drum love. No. Love don't cost a thing. Napoleon Dynamite. Oh. And then you got the nerd to stay at the suburbs. Jacked up combination. But no. Um, but we watch it was it was so it was so fun, like exposing you to so many different movies of different genres. Good fellas. Oh, yeah. That like things where it was just like you hadn't seen these these movies or and stuff like that. But then on top of things you haven't seen, we're still sharing the things that we both enjoy that we have seen. Mr. Bean.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

Oh, I love Mr.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

Bean. You know, Are You Being Served? Uh Antie Grove. Even up appearances. Keeping up appearances. Um Fray.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Well, Frazier, did we watch shows like that? Again, you that was more you, Frasier, and um.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

I know Frasier was a cheers. Cheers. Well, I think that was when I we got married. I started watching those shows.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

Even still, it's like I it's it's almost it almost felt like what did I watch? Like you was watching at Disney, but I was like, There's more. Being like Kings and Queens, like I remember watching that here and there.

SPEAKER_00 23:30

Right.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

But not like back to back to back to back.

SPEAKER_00 23:35

Or even like like uh the wires, the sopranos. Oh things like that. Like things were you again. That stuff came out in the 90s. Like they were gonna let me. And I hadn't seen a lot of those shows either. I hadn't seen the wire till I got older. I hadn't seen the sopranos till I got older. Because again, we were younger when those shows came out, but I was aware of it.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Just the environment I was in too. Like that wasn't a thing really. Like Terminator, stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

Wait a while.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Yeah, but that was so good.

unknown 24:03

So awesome.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

So it was very I it was I think it's just it's almost like shows, movies, DVDs, like they were the crust of the building blocks of our. And they still are. They still are because we will we will sit down and we will bend some good shows. Right now we've been watching Paradise. Uh-huh. We've been watching Alex Cross.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:26

We've been watching Um I've been with Abbott Elementary. We've been watching You kind of watch it with me, industry. You watch Industry with me a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

Man, some shows it's just like too much going on. Like I can't I can only handle like 10 minutes. Yeah, yes. Because it's so intense. Like Secession is one of those shows. Family dynamic. I said, I can't handle this.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

Yeah, yeah. So we've watched, so it's just, it's such a um It's still a very like very strong thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

Strong part of our present component for sure.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

Of how we connect.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

Yeah, I mean, and it's just we've had great moments when like when we went to Myrtle Beach and we saw Infinity, the Infinity War movie. Um, like that was such a big thing because obviously Infinity War was a huge movie. But being on vacation and then going to see it, like, it was a moment for us, you know what I'm saying? Or um when we went to go see Fast Five, remember when I was in the theater, like when the uh um Ben Diesel when The Rock was fighting and it looked like he had hit him with the wrench and killed them, and I was like, no, and the whole theater was cracking up, you know what I'm saying? Or like, you know, when we we saw bad movies, like remember when we went to the theater as a youth group and we saw crank? We were all mad and pissed off that we went.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

But it was a thing because again, I kept the movie stubs for every date that we went to the movies. It's in my photo album. You kept them. Yeah, I kept them. You kept them because I kept them. We again that's what I'm saying. It was a thing that we did. What was it? I even kept the library receipts from all the movies.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

Now I know you kept you I know you did those. I'm saying I kept collecting our movie tickets for the first year we dated. And then you put them together in that in the album, yeah. But I was like, give me these things. You probably can't read them things now. That print. Yeah, some of them you still can. It's faded. It still can. I mean, shoot, it's like the sheet of paper that you gave me that with your number on it for the first time.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

You still have that paper.

SPEAKER_00 26:44

It's still in that book. Still in the book. Listen, I wasn't playing with him when I was there. That number is 18 years old. Or just friends. 19, if you I guess if you consider being friends, that that page sheet of paper is 19 years old. That's history. Keeping that, yeah. Oh yeah, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:04

You make me sound so mean.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

You do Paris. So what Paris is referring to is um when and I guess we'd be re-kind of sharing our story through just random moments, but when I tried to approach Paris, I had a crush on her, and we were at church, and for weeks I had been crushing. So the story begins. See how crazy this story now is. It's unraveling. Listen. Um, so when I first got to Paris Church, um, she was there before I was. When I first got there and seen her, um, I always tell her I saw her and I was like, that's my wife. She the one. Now, is was it delusional? Probably so. I probably was being super delusional in that moment. I probably just saw you. You were very attractive. You had on.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

It's like all the movies that you was watching.

SPEAKER_00 28:01

You were very boy sees the girl.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

He starts to think the girl, the girl has no idea.

SPEAKER_00 28:07

First off, I bad on what I was thinking, because I was like, wow, she is caked up at that point in time. You had on that Amish dress. Now, see, and this is what I be saying.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

Amish. You had on that back then, those long blue jean skirts were in. It's not Amish. I was I was covered. You had that Amish blue jeans.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

You had dressed modestly, and yet you still out here. That lets you know how kicked up you was. I said, Sheesh. So I was like, bruh. And uh, and thank God that you know my friend at that time, Martin, thank God. Thank God he he liked your cousin and and not you, because we would have mattered. I I wouldn't have we would have had to fight. But I'm glad when I asked him first and he was like, Yeah, I like that one. I said, great, because I like I like that one. I was like, that's great. I like that one over there though. You said that pretty rum boom. Cause that pretty ram brown look good to me. So I'm like, um, I said, man, so I'm crushing on parents and I'm telling my homeboy about this for like weeks, like, bro, you know, and finally he's like, bro, you gotta say something. You gotta shoot a shot. You can't just be over there gig geek geeking, you know. You gotta say something. So I'm like, alright. And at this time I have terrible, terrible, terrible shyness. I'm not the great, the best. I'm like, wow. Hey, how you doing? Like, I'm not there. That's crazy. And so all I know is like, what if I just show her an insane amount of attention? Maybe she'd say, like, oh wow, he's showing me a lot of interest in me. Maybe he likes me. Backfired. In reality, she's like, Oh my god, he's showing me a lot of attention. This is annoying as hell. It's your words, not mine. And so we're working in, we're doing this play at church, and I'm just like, It's how you're showing me the attention. Oh yeah, I'm I'm just I'm a Satyrian soldier in the play.

SPEAKER_01 30:07

Because we're doing, we're getting ready for Easter. I don't know what you were playing. I was like a standby, a bystander, because it's like an Easter play.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

Gotcha. And so I got my sword, and I'm just I'm Luke, I'm Luke Skywalking her with the sword. She's walking by. I'm like, where you going? And she's like, get some water. You know, I'm like, you can't take me with you. She's like, you can get some water, and I'm like, alright. Yeah, I'm not. I'm just trying, I'm just trying to show any attention whatsoever. So finally I get to a point where I'm like, hey, I need your number. I just I just throw it out there. Now, granted, when I said it, I'm saying it like this because I really am at a place where I was like, I either I'm either gonna say it or I'm not. So I'm just like, I need your number. And she's like, for what? And I had never got that answer in my life. I'm like, what do you mean for? I didn't know where to go. She checkmate. I'm like, ah, shoot. I'm like, so I can call you. She's like, for what? And I'm like, wow, she has a lot of good follow-ups. I'm like, What's the same one? Um, you know, so we can talk. Because I'm trying, what do you want with me? He's like, talk about what?

SPEAKER_02 31:26

And I'm like, geez, wow.

SPEAKER_01 31:29

I see you at church multiple days every week. What more do you want? See you at Bible study, you're alive, choir rehearsal. I see you on Sunday.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

I want your love. So I'm like, okay, alright, well, we'll figure this out. So I say, hey, listen. So first off, she's like, no. She kind of like, no, I'm I'm I'm okay. So I'm like, hey, listen, if you don't give me your number, I'm about to just get to flaming everybody up in here. Like, whoever's in here, they're about to get flame roasted. And again, this is digging the hole even deeper. Again, I don't know how to flirt, I don't know what I'm doing. But I'm thinking, like, maybe if I corner her with pressure of like, will you save these people and give me your number or will you let them be torched by my jokes? And she's like, flame away. Like, oh shoot, because I don't have no jokes. So my jokes are now insult. Hey, you you're fat. Hey, good for that forehead's the knocking. I'm just going. And so now she's like, lame. I didn't say that. That's how you look.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

You kind of rode your eyes like this guy. Cause it's like you're not about to make me give you my number. And now you look at like, and you're disrespecting people?

SPEAKER_00 32:54

Yeah. Yuck. I'm good. So um, so of course, I crashed and burned that plane, and I'm like, man, well, that's the end of this. And randomly, on a random. It was definitely random because I'm like, I don't necessarily remember. I don't know if it was on a rehearsal or a Sunday, but leading up to that thing.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

But I think I got to know you a little bit more.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Yeah, it was like a couple weeks later. It was a couple weeks later for sure. Um, because I think I even came back and apologized. Like, hey, I'm sorry about that. That was a little forward.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

I just think I got to know you a little bit better. Cause again, I know I was still in school when we were getting ready for that Easter play. And then it was like the summer.

unknown 33:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

And then we did lots of school.

SPEAKER_01 33:42

It was like my senior year in high school was starting back up. And that's that I do remember we had started talking on the phone. So it had to have been like during the summer. Yeah. Beginning of my senior year in high school, that I didn't.

SPEAKER_00 33:57

And I think it was, I think somebody, I don't know if it was if it was Martin at the time, but I remember somebody kind of just being like, man, just be yourself. Like, you know, I explained to them what I did, and they're like, Jesus, you know, like, why would you do that? Yeah, and they're like, man, just be yourself. And um, and so I think I just kind of chilled and was like, hey, you know, and that was still vulnerable though.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

Like, that's still scary. Because again, it's like you was you was player on Black Planet in MySpace.

SPEAKER_00 34:28

Yeah, but it's easy when you social. I mean, well, before social media, being on the internet was easy to just kind of like type up a good thing. At least I have time to come up and you know, and even then I would I was not great at like I didn't understand the. Just think that it was hard to believe that just because you're so social anyway. Yeah, I'm very social, but I just didn't have the cues for a lot of stuff. Like even when I was online, like when people had instant message, like they would ask, What's your um AOL instant message? Like, what's the what's your name? And they but they would say, What's your aim? Which meant was AOL instant message name. What is your aol instant message private? So you could private message. And I used to be like, Again, I have no, I'm very social, but I have no cues at this age. So when I'm seeing, I'm trying to talk to this girl and she's like, What's your aim? I'm like, uh, six and a half inches. Because I'm thinking she's she's I'm thinking she asked me about massage. I'm like, I don't know. Goodness. Good golly. Five and a half inches. I don't know. Oh my gosh. I was I was lost. So getting to you was like a miracle. A miracle. And so um, and so that led to us uh eventually she gave me her number. Yeah, for emergencies, and it did say in red ink on a ripped sheet of paper uh uh for emergency cases only. Because I don't want you thinking about it. And I didn't even know what that meant. I didn't even know what that meant. I was like, I remember like one being super happy I had the number. I'm like holding on to this sheet of paper with like dear life. But then I remember like being finally like at home and just staring at it and being like, what's a good emergency? Like that was in my mind. What's a good emergency? Like, okay, emergency, emergency. We need prayer, prayer, prayer for what? What is an emergent prayer? What is something? Prayer, prayer, prayer, prayer. School is really, really hard. I'm stressed, I'm stressed, prayer.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

Listen, even when you did call me, we didn't even stay on prayer that long. We did not. We instantly started talking about everything else. Everything I did about it shows, movies, everything I didn't. We used to talk about everything else, and then the rest is history.

SPEAKER_00 37:15

It is, it is, it is, man. It is, and and it is, and now we still bond over a good movie, a good show. We sit down and you'll still cuss at an intense moment, and it still makes me laugh.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

My proudest moment.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

Still makes me laugh.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

That's the thing. I feel like you even then I shocked myself because I wouldn't even think, okay, if this happened, this is how I would feel about it. And it's not till we're watching something.

SPEAKER_00 37:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

And I'm feeling this feeling for the first time. I'm like, what is this?

SPEAKER_00 37:46

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

What is this? And you're just like, oh my god, again, laughing. Like Bushki.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

So, okay, looking back on we we've been together 18 years. We've been married 11. What is one thing that you cherished the most in our seven years dating? And what is something that you cherish now in our 11 years married?

SPEAKER_01 38:19

What did I cherish most in dating?

SPEAKER_00 38:22

From our dating, seven years dating, and cherish now from our 11 years married. I go first. I don't I I think in dating, what I miss about us dating that I cherished the most was um we used to go out a lot.

SPEAKER_01 38:41

I think we were going out like almost every week and every other weekend.

SPEAKER_00 38:45

And I just I cherished like we used to have some really great adventures. And we would like go places and try things and try different restaurants. A lot of it was me kind of exposing you to things in the city a lot of times. I didn't get out at all. Um, but I I miss that part of of our dating. Um because I think like the movie stuff we still kind of do now and stuff like that, but I don't think we get out as much as we used to. And I remember when we used to go out, like just getting out would be so we'd be out from like the sun up to the sun. We'd get out there early, we'd be bell out by the water, we'd drive here, we'd drive there, we'd be all over, and then we'd by the end of the night, you know, we'd be We walk around the mall. We'd go everywhere. We go everywhere. I think what I cherish now in our marriage is um I think I cherish the fact that when we kind of do the I I kind of cherish our family moments now. So like now I'm more cherishing of like when we do stuff with me, you and Kobe. And we kind of like, you know, we go out. Kind of like even today. We went to Walmart, we did some shopping, and it's like, you know, just like it's simple, but doing it together, it it just adds an element that is different than when I'm just going in there by myself to grab some stuff and whatever. Yeah, whereas like it's more of an event when we go because you know, we're we're looking at stuff, we're talking, we're laughing, like it's just a it's more of a uh and then that's how it is when we go out to eat, you know, as a family, or we go to so certain events, like you know, well, for you and Kobe all went to like uh the Gabby show or something, like or I've taken Kobe to the movies and went on a field trip, but yeah, it's just when we do things like as a family. I think I cherish those things now because they kind of remind me of when we used to go out with like Joshua and Megan.

SPEAKER_01 40:55

Oh yeah, my my brother and sister.

SPEAKER_00 40:57

Yeah, and like we'd go on our dates and have to take them with us, and they were obviously a little bit younger than us, but they it was like we were a trio, you know. Or a quartet. Or a quartet, you know, and now like now with Kobe, she's like our trio, you know. Um and you know, we have moments when we laughing, the three of us are laughing at something or something. So it's like I cherish that now, and and but I do miss or I cherish when we were dating how often we used to go out and like the versatility of like what we used to do. We used to go to concerts and we'd go to this and we go to that, and it was a lot more it was a lot more just various different things we were getting out in versus kind of now. We kind of do a lot of the same things. We do get to go to some things, uh, you know, here and there that's like very different and and fun. But back then it was like we were just trying to like constantly figure out like what's the next cool place we can go, what's the next cool we can do. But I cherish that because it was it was such an adventurous time, and and even then I was always trying to think of like something creative to show you, like where can I take her now? Where can I take her now? Where what can I show her this week? Okay, we got a date coming up. What can I you know how can I plan something special? How can I do this or whatever? So it was that that was fun. Okay, what about you?

SPEAKER_01 42:13

Uh yeah. I'm trying to think. I think for me it's just I I enjoyed, um just I thought you were laughing.

SPEAKER_00 42:32

No. Hey No.

SPEAKER_01 42:37

I think I just enjoyed how like it just naturally happened. Like I don't feel that like there was pressure for it to be a thing. Like it just it just naturally happened.

SPEAKER_02 42:51

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

Because if it wasn't gonna work, it just wasn't gonna work. But I think because we were genuinely really good friends, like even when I said, nah, we just gotta be friends first, right? You weren't like pressuring me every moment. Like it wasn't Be my girl! Yeah, be my girl. Or like you wasn't basically, I'm just like, no, we were able to just like again, just genuinely get to know each other. Yeah. Experience like different moments together, because again, we were very active in church, and that really kept us busy.

SPEAKER_00 43:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

Um, but just having those moments without the pressure of it, like having to amount to something, or like me, so I just enjoyed again the freedom of us being friends, and then that freedom kind of transitioned into when we started dating. So again, like just some of the things like some people be like, oh, I don't know if I can like burp in front of him, or oh, if we go out to eat and I get something on my face, like it's gonna make it you gonna like that. Is what before I actually like was in a relationship, these are things that I would hear like other friends, my girlfriends talk about. Oh well, we go out on a date, I gotta look like this, or I gotta wear like just it felt like it was too much.

unknown 44:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:14

And that's why for a long time I was like, nah, it's not for me. I'm not gonna get married. It's just too much going on. And then for them to have to do all that, just for the guy to like cheat on them with another. Like, I was like, oh yeah, I'm definitely not sad enough for this. Just too much.

SPEAKER_00 44:32

Shit like give me them two dogs in an apartment.

SPEAKER_01 44:35

Cooked. Cooked. But it was not, it wasn't like that at all. It just felt very.

SPEAKER_00 44:44

Yeah, I I don't always believe in like when people say they had those like fairy tale love stories or whatever. But I do feel like we had a very like genuine rom-com type of relationship. Like it was very, it felt like a movie the way it happened. Like everything just felt like it fell in place, like there was a script that we just followed or something. Like, because again, like you say, it was very easy. It was very easy. It wasn't so I enjoyed that aspect of our dating.

SPEAKER_01 45:17

Okay. That it wasn't like the pressure that I thought it would be, it was the opposite, like right. Um, and then as far as marriage goes. That's not stop. Just stop it, okay? That's not what that meant. Oh man. No, I know. I think the downside of the dating was because we we did start to feel so strongly about each other. It made it hard when we had to leave. So I enjoyed that part of being married. It's like I didn't necessarily have to say goodbye. If that makes sense. Oh, yeah. Because I then got to be here with you most of the day.

SPEAKER_00 46:03

That is so strange, too. Like how you go from like it's weird because it's like it's something about missing that person that's very powerful, right? Like, wait, I don't know where you're going with this.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

I'm here to tell you right now. I think at first, again, you were like, oh, I miss it so much, I missed it so much. And then I was here every day, all day, and you're like, dang. I think this is what I signed up for. Oh, Jesus. No, that's that learning curve of just being again. We hung out a lot. No, we didn't. Then when we got married, it's literally like, okay, yeah, it's it's it's the stuff you didn't get to see, now you're seeing.

SPEAKER_00 46:58

But it's it, I think it just shows like how you how easy you become conditioned. Because when I'm when I'm missing you, it's like, oh, I just can't wait for the next moment. And then when the next moment happens, I'm cherishing and holding on to every minute of it. If everything feels blissful, then you get married, and I remember being like, oh my god, this is the greatest thing ever. I roll over, she's there. I went, she's there, out the shower. She's there. I'd take a nap. She's there. Like it was so it was so exciting, being like, oh my god, we did it. We're here. I get to actually not have to miss her anymore. And then seven years in, you like, man, oh my god. Like if this motherfucker. Like, you know what I'm saying? But I think it just shows like how conditioned you comfortable you get because those feelings, like, it's like I don't remember that feeling. Like when you would leave, and I'm just like, Yeah, oh man. Like, when oh man, uh next weekend? Right. Yeah, basically. And just like every day is like, okay, Tuesday, Wednesday, yes, like, and just like this overwhelming joy buildup. It's like you you you don't get that no more when you get married. It kind of like I think it just changes, yeah, it changes, it shifts. Yeah, it and it comes kind of like in ebbs and flows versus like every time. And then, even like I say, even when you wake up and you're kind of like, oh my god, this is the greatest thing ever. Like, I can't believe I'm the person I chose. And then you know, you wake up and you roll over, it's like, oh, she got slab on her face, it's pressed it up. You know what I'm saying? Or you or you like, oh my god, I just can't wait till we can go to bed together, and then I'm snoring the house off. Not that, bro, it's the fan.

SPEAKER_01 48:53

Like, I didn't know. Like, we getting married and stuff, we get back from the honeymoon to the house, and you like, you sleep with the fan every night.

SPEAKER_02 49:09

Like, bruh.

SPEAKER_01 49:13

That was a cold reality fan. You ain't kidding, because it was we got married in December. So here I am, January, February, freezing. Cause of this fan. And listen, it ain't no little, like, little table fan. Well, at first it was. No, it was that stand-up fan.

SPEAKER_00 49:32

That's what I'm saying, though. Like, that still wasn't as powerful as the one we have.

SPEAKER_01 49:36

Listen, you just went from plastic to steel, but it's still a big fan. Industrial.

SPEAKER_00 49:42

He said, I'm not getting enough air. It's so funny because somebody was like, You got that. Somebody said it was a bit, man, you got that fan that like when people like in construction, it's like the big ones that you roll out. Like Man. We was at when so uh I just recently took my daughter to her daddy-daughter dance at her school for the first time, and it was really, really amazing experience. And um, it was weird because I'm seeing all these dads interact with their kids, and a lot of them kind of was just chilling, letting the girls do, you know, run around the gym and stuff like that. There was one girl, she kind of didn't really do a whole lot with the other girl. She was really up under her dad the entire time. Like they were sitting at the table, he's tickling her, they laughing, like they was together the whole time, and it's cute because he had like on a bar an all-pink suit, he had a Barbie t-shirt under, and then she had like an all-pink shirt, like all pink dress, like that Barbie pink, and she had like a Barbie shirt on, they were matching and stuff, and um, but it was funny just because um like the dads were just chilling and the girls were doing whatever. And when then we had to go out there and you know, do our um daddy-daughter dance, and it was just, you know, it's just it's just like Kobe is like dancing with me, but then she's like hugging me, but then she's like, How do I do this? Yeah, and it was like even I'm like, how do I slow dance with my daughter? Like she's so short, and I'm trying to like guide her, but she's hugging me, so I'm like, well, this is this is weird. So then we start I started dipping her and spinning her, and we was just having fun doing that. And we kind of ended up more so having a fun dance than trying to sit, yeah, be serious and stuff, and like um, but it's one of those things that was that gym got hot. That gym got hot, boy. I was in that boy's sweat. Kobe was even looking, she was like, Danny, you are sweating. I'm like, yes, Kobe, it is getting out of here. And sure enough, what do they do? They break out that industrial man. And I I promise you, for the rest of the night, I was standing right there in front of that boy, like blow. I believe it. Blow on me. Oh, man, it feels so great. So it's just funny because when I think about my man at the house, it's like people just like I said, I was talking to my mom on the phone, and she was like, Yeah, you guys sound like y'all out right now. And I'm like, no. That is the fan blowing that loud. We are in the house. But that is very funny. You definitely that was something that caught you off guard for sure. Yeah, for sure. She was like, Oh, you really like to be cold. Oh, okay. Alright, cool. That's a lot. The extra blankets, please. I'm like, huh. You like to be really warm and snug, okay.

SPEAKER_02 52:37

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:38

So, but um, no, I I agree with you. I think um Did you say what your marriage was?

SPEAKER_01 52:46

No, that's what I hadn't got to because you're gonna say the marriage, oh no, no. I can't I think I kind of did touch it by saying, like, I didn't have to worry about you like leaving. Like I didn't have to say goodbye. Another thing I liked is again, we would just get up and go. Like it'd be one, two in the morning, we go into the Coney, we go into Del P. We just taking drives downtown.

SPEAKER_00 53:10

We gotta do we, I mean, we got enough time. We gotta talk about that pre-kid life. Like, I love my daughter. I I can't even fathom like her non-existence, right? Like, it's hard to even imagine, like, like she's been around seven years, and I think that's that is longer than it feels longer than that though. Is it but I'm saying it's longer than we've been married without her, right? I'm saying she's been around longer than before we had her. Like in our marriage. We were married, what, four years before she had?

SPEAKER_01 53:51

We were like five or six years in when I got pregnant.

SPEAKER_00 53:54

Five or six. So she's just kind of just kind of surpassed like our pre-kid time.

SPEAKER_01 54:01

Especially I think by the end of this year, yeah, because it'll be 12 years this year that we've been married. Right, but so she's been here half of our the second half, basically of our marriage.

SPEAKER_00 54:16

Six and six, we'd be twelve. Alright. So then she's seven.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

So she's so probably five then. Year five.

SPEAKER_00 54:23

So year five. Year five. Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen. Six years. Okay. And then um she's seven, so she's a year older. She's been here a year longer than we than when she wasn't. Before, yeah. And and it's crazy because she feels like she's been here the entire time. The entire time.

SPEAKER_01 54:45

I just think kids do grow so fast in a short amount of time. It makes it feel like they've been it's been longer than yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:53

Because I'm like, you're telling me that there were we had six years and she wasn't here. It's like, where did that go?

SPEAKER_01 55:01

Right. I don't even remember. I get what you're saying. It seems like a short amount of time. It feels like a short amount, it feels like the years before her. This thing.

SPEAKER_00 55:11

The years before her feel like a snapshot. Like what six years? Six years, like seven years, she's seven. So that's like looking at it's like, man, she's been here for a minute. To think like six years we did not have a kid, and it's like, how what time I did not enjoy it as much as I thought I did. I thought we was enjoying them six years. That time flew by fast. Yeah. So it's like, but I man, but talk about when we was in it though. We was up late. We was living the V Lita V Vita Living La Vita Lita, Loca, Mocha, like Coca, Yina, Kokai. Oh my god. Like we was living it up. Oh my god. Late night trips to the Coney, late night drives for the sake of driving. Late night everything. Yeah. We was like competing with White Castle for who could be the who could be the latest.

SPEAKER_01 56:15

Like we stayed up late watching all the R. Kelly in the closet or tried to watch all of them.

SPEAKER_00 56:20

Oh man, that was rough. We did, I mean, we we did we would just, I mean, but the ability like we would just go places on the weekends. Like out of town. Yeah, we just go out of town. Oh yeah, we're out of town. Let's go. Let's do it. Oh yeah, we do we're doing this, we hidden roll. Like, what? Spending money, blowing money. We'll we'll what you want? Buy it. Buy it. Grocery bill. Listen, I don't even want to talk about it. Grocery, our grocery bill between just you and I was higher than what we spend now. Than what we spend now on grocery. You think our grocery bill was is supposed to be higher with the kid. It was high without the kid. It's lower with the kid. We be trying to make sure we can pinch and stuff. It is, man. Those years. Oh my god. Take us back. But just take us back with her. Right. And then just like let her somehow like be on like uh when you're like you're in a in a in a chat party or something on a video game where it's like you're invisible to the whole chat room, but we can see you, but we can't interact with you. Take us back. Good Lord. But um good times. Good times, good times, good times.

SPEAKER_01 57:36

Um again, like just hanging out. Like we be hanging out with all our friends. We be up with them till like maybe three in the morning, then we go home. Yeah. Like it's just going from friend to friend, or they're them coming over. Oh, yeah. Everybody was just hanging.

SPEAKER_00 57:53

Hanging. Hanging. Now we all got kids. And none of us hang. We we need that sleep. None of us hang. We all got kids. I see you when I see you. I can't even see you.

SPEAKER_01 58:08

That's the other thing. Like, again, one through four, Kobe went in school. You just go with the flow. Go with the flow. Then she had to go to school.

SPEAKER_00 58:16

I was like, ooh. Man, it was man. That time went fast. The like not in school, you just a baby existing. Oh. That I thought was rough. That was a great time. We just what? We go sit here. And you go Google guy and and pat pat yourself to sleep every day. Now you're talking about them 8 a.m. Getting up to go to school. It's just a school drop. Oh, hiccup. Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy. So it's just and it just goes and it just goes and goes. But it's still it's still such an exciting thing, man, to just see you know Kobe kind of like flourishing at this age where she's just so full of life, full of personality. And again, it just takes me back to like again. This is why I I almost wanted to like name the episode like the office uh the office shaped our marriage or something. I don't know what I'm gonna name this, but but it's almost like you know, we we grew up with this like thing with the gym face you know if you watch the office, you know what the gym face is.

SPEAKER_01 59:32

It was that we used to say that's what she said all the time. That's what she said. We used to do that all the time. Oh my god, we had to cut it out. It was getting bad.

SPEAKER_00 59:43

Anything that they did in the office, we were doing parkour, parkour. Oh my god, it was getting bad. Jumping off walls, parkour, parkour.

SPEAKER_01 59:50

I remember even again, because you we watched it, but my sister ended up liking it too. Oh, even though we was me and her would be like, that's what she said, that's what she said. My mom would say something. We both look at each other. That's what she said. And we just and my mom be like, knock it off.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:06

Enough. Oh man, once once we got Meg on board, it was Oh man, it was over. Terrible. We were a terrible uh trio.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:16

It didn't even make sense. We would just be saying it all the time.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:19

All the time, all the time. And so it's that's what I'm saying. It's like that gym face that we used to make. Yeah. To see Kobe make that face now when she's you know being herself or being funny, it's almost like a sealed, like a it's like sign-seal delivery. Like it's just this when she does it, it's almost like this this spiritual reminder of where we started. It's like she she does it, and it just reminds me of how far we've come.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:48

She just does it naturally, though.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:49

And she does it naturally, and she does it so well.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:52

She don't understand.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:54

And she has no clue whatsoever.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:57

It's just the face we make.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:59

What the yeah, she's only she does it because she's seen us make the face. To her. To her. But she has no idea, like, the the lineage of it, where it comes from. She has no clue. But when she does it, it's this soft reminder of like, wow, yeah, that's where we come from. That's that's when it started, us as friends, making that face, being goofy, laughing about it, and now here we are, you know, married 11 years, been together 18 years, and and Kobe is now making that face at us, and it's like, ugh, man, you know what I'm saying? So well guys, that is uh going to be it for this episode of Better or Worse and then some.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:47

And then some.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:49

Um sorry. We mess no get the people used to your random singing now. Get them used to it right now. It happens. Um and you know, we we appreciate um all you guys listening um to this podcast on the Maturity Productions Network, home of various podcasts, like the Great Therapy Emotion by my homeboy King OJ. Um the show that I host with my co-host Cheese Fierce, the Not Very Mature podcast, um, the music podcast that I do with interviewing indie artists, rapology. Um content on the Maturity Productions Network. You can also uh follow uh me on Maturity Productions on all platforms on Instagram, Facebook, all social media platforms. You can also find the YouTube channel Maturity Productions, home of different uh movies that I produce, shows that I produce, music videos, other podcasts, stuff like that. Um Booski, do you wanna do you want to um give out your social? I don't know if you listen.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:14

You don't even use I was about to say that's why asking me when you asked me for my number.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:26

Yeah, that social media be dead, boy. You got one post from 2012. Man. Um, but you guys definitely can follow us and and follow the the the pocket.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:39

I don't even know it by heart. Just tell them. Jesus. That's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:44

Um and uh Lord have mercy. Yo, that's just funny. But guys, thank you for listening to this podcast. We wanted to bring it back. We just want to talk about our marriage, our ups, our downs, our goods, our bads, our uglies, for better, for worse, and then some. And um, until next time, we will catch you guys later. Peace.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:07

Take care.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:09

Oh that was so perfect. Take care. I can't even I can't even repeat it. Take care had to be on my Fraser. Good night. Oh, what oh, what what what did uh Jim Carrey say? Good night, good evening, good day, good evening, and if I don't see you later, good night.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:38

I love Jim Carrey.