THERAPY IN MOTION | WITH SPECIAL GUEST B | PART ONE

KING OJ SIT WITH SPECIAL GUEST AND CLOSE FRIEND B. THIS IS BY FAR THE MOST INTELLECTUAL, EMOTIONAL, AND DEEP CONVERSATION TO DATE. YOU CANT MISS THIS POWERFUL EPISODE TO DATE TO WITNESS TWO MEN HAVE A HEALTHLY SAFE SPACE CONVERSATION ABOUT LOSS, PAIN, GIREF, RELATIONSHIPS, BETRAYAL, FAMILY AND SO MUCH MORE. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

What's that deal? We back with another one Therapy in Motion and today we got a special guest. My brother B. I like to start off every episode with a wellness check. Like, where you at as far as your excuse me, as far as your head space go, like what's going on with you?

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Uh right now, uh mentally I'm at a point where uh if it ain't for me, you know, just let it go, let it be. I'm trying to stay positive, remain, remain, you know, my head on the swivel, keep my head on the swivel. Just keep my spirits up. Do whatever I can to stay positive. That's what's up, that's what's up. You ready for this summer? I am, I am ready. It's about to be a nice, nice little grind, man. I'm be working hard, real hard. Man, ain't no way but up, dog.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Ain't no way but up. So for the people that don't know, bro, this has been like the most highly anticipated episode. And I'm I'm honored to really get this one in here because I'm just like, man, like I know you got a hell of a story, you know what I'm saying? Uh we don't always feel safe to, you know, get off our shit or however we're feeling because it don't be safe spaces for us to do so. It'd be so many situations where, you know, us as men, you know, we try to be a little vulnerable, at least to, you know, express ourselves, but it's not received well. So, you know, bro, we I'm I'm just glad that we we here today to get this one in here, get this one out the way for real.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

Thank you for having me too, bro. Likewise, it's an honor, man. I know uh trying to get me here for a minute, but shit, we're here. For sure, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

So we're gonna start off with this one. Uh just give the people a little bit about your upbringing and like you just starting the origins of B, like where you from, uh, you know, just that the the whole elevation of your life. Well, starting. Evolution, sorry, evolution.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

Yeah. Okay, for starters, uh well, I was born uh, I was born here and um what? Sign I grace actually. I was born here, uh OG, Pop moved to Chicago, grew up there. I was there for about what up until like the age of 11. Then we moved back, bouncing around from here, uh Chicago. Uh shit, Pops and OG, they ended up splitting like around like the age of 12. So that was pretty tough. Uh yeah, it was just me, uh, my brother Malik, my little brother Khalil, uh, out of my OG kids. Uh after they separated, Pop ended up having another uh child outside of that. So got a baby sister too. She's about 15 now. Um yeah, uh, shoot, I went to uh in between being in Illinois and out here, uh I did um migrate towards Ohio. Uh I stayed out there for maybe a couple years. I went to four different high schools, three different states. So we we we were moving around a lot. Like we never really stayed in one place for too long. So it wasn't really.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

No, you good, bro. Uh so how was that um for you? Because I had a similar story where it was like my earlier ages, like elementary and middle school, I migrated so much, no school really felt like home, for real. So, like, how how did you adjust to that?

SPEAKER_00 4:00

All of those moves? Um, how I adjusted to that. Uh I kind of just went with the flow of things. Like, I didn't really too much stay like fixated in one space. Uh I did keep up with some of the few people, you know, that I met along the way that you know I uh bonded with. But that was a select few. Um it was a time, man. It was a time.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

So what was it like as far as the split? Like, how one, how did that affect you? And then how do you feel as if that maybe affected your seven?

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Um the split, I ain't gonna lie, that that split was was very uh impactful. Um it opened my eyes to a lot of a lot of things. Uh especially um like sexualities and whatnot. Like my mom, she uh when she split with my pop, she ended up uh you know marrying a woman. So I didn't know what that was. Me or my brother didn't know anything about it until you know it was brought to us like that. But we uh we took it pretty hard. Um we took it pretty hard because around that time my grandmother had passed away too. So it was a lot of just a lot of emotions all around, a lot of a lot of pain.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

So and when your grandma passed, that was like 12-2.

SPEAKER_02 5:35

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Yep. So it so okay, was it like you was grieving the split of your uh parents and then your grams passed, and then now it's like a double grieving moment. Yeah. Like how so how were you able to get through that? Bro, like what was your coping mechanisms in the midst of all of that going on?

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Um my coping mechanisms, bro, uh wasn't the best. Uh I used to stay in the streets all the time. Uh like I do whatever I could just to not be at home because home didn't feel like home. Like once that that split hit. Yeah. Uh man. I um it was it was it was it was a very, very hard time for me, dog. It was a very hard time. Um just trying to balance like everyday life. And I'm I'm I'm a kid at this point, bro. I'm still a kid. So it's a right, all of this stuff is new to me. Like this was like the the first like real death I ever had to deal with. This was uh I was doing pour in school at the time. Yeah. So uh man, my grades were slipping. Uh supposed to go to summer school. I ended up not going to summer school because my grandma passed from cancer that summer, so I had to stay out here in Detroit. It was just a lot, man. It was just a lot. Uh like in the school I was at, um they tried what they could to uh like get me a counselor and stuff, but they didn't really understand where I was coming from, so I couldn't really vent to them how I could like nah stuff.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

So do you think that maybe it could have been somebody that you could have talked to, it just wasn't them people?

SPEAKER_00 7:37

Yeah, I feel like somebody out there could have uh definitely gave me some guidance, but I just never received that. I just never received that.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

So do you think that's uh well first let me ask you this did that bring you more so not just like a sadness but more like an anger It put me in a uh uh a very like bitter space, like very resentful.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

Uh right, right, right. I uh man, I trouble bro, trouble. Um I need a second, bro. No, I got you, bro. I need a second. Um I didn't have like really nobody to talk to during those stages, like in my life. And when I did try to talk to people, it just got overlooked, overshadowed. I was conditioned not to feel shit. I was conditioned not to show emotion, none of that, like all that is weak. I was never given the space or opportunity like of any sort to be human, bro. Feel my emotions and shit. And now I'm going through all of that this as an adult and um it's it's a lot, man. It's a lot.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

Yeah, I definitely get it. So do you so do you feel that if you had um the proper outlet as a child that it would have helped you with any of the struggles that you've been going through as an adult? Like you think you would have had a more clear understanding, or maybe not so much allowing your mind to overthink about situations you've had to deal with as an adult.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

I feel like uh I feel like it would have benefited severely had I actually had, you know, that handed to me, not handed to me, but actually had that at my um like my disposal, my reach.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

Yeah, just an opportunity to get whatever is on your mind out so it's not just being bottled up and suppressed.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

Yeah, because uh shit, keeping your, you know, your feelings in, your emotions in, just in any way, shape, or form, man, it's not really, it's not healthy. It's not healthy. And you gotta release that in some fashion. Maybe shit on a could be a game, could be somebody outside in the world. Like, yeah, you don't never want it to get to that point, man. It's always good to, you know, talk about what you got going on. Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

Um, so in the midst of all of this, you still the you the oldest brother?

SPEAKER_02 10:52

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Out of my mama's kids, the oldest, yeah. Okay, so out of your pops' kids, which is just one sister? Um, so I got uh my pops, he uh isn't biologically my uh father. Uh my brother Malik and Clive, this is you know their biological father. He came in when I was a few months old and uh and raised me. So that's who I know that's my dad. Yeah, that's my dad. Um I met my donor, I met my uh donor like around around that same time, around that age, like around 12. Uh and I actually didn't want to uh at first I didn't want to establish like, you know, no type of relationship with him, you know, because I was a kid and I was hearing stories and uh you know my OG had me young. She uh got pregnant with me when she was 16, had me at 17, and he was uh in his 20s. And I just I just felt like, you know, you shit did my OG wrong, like you left her. But I had to get out of that mindset like once I got a little older, because uh, you know, everybody walking through life, shit, we all make mistakes and shit like that. But right. But yeah, um, yeah, uh my donor, I don't know how many kids he got out here. I think he got like a militia. Uh shit, I found out a few years ago I had like four kid siblings, single digits. So yeah, and shit, I couldn't even uh establish no relationship with them because uh their mother, um I reached out to her, she reached out to me and we conversated for a little time and it just never like went through. I tried to uh shit take them out, spend time with them. It just never happened.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

So that's crazy. And it's it's so crazy because a lot of us go through that where we feel, even if we don't know the number, we feel like a lot of our pops just been having a bunch of kids around the globe, and it's like you just never know who you could be at odds with your siblings and don't know it. You could be, you know what I'm saying? The the dating scene is crazy. You don't know if these your siblings or not, because you never met everybody, yeah. So treacherous out here, yeah. So it's like for one, as the parent, that's the to me, that's the main reason they should introduce all the kids. That's the main reason, and really just because it's the right thing to do outside of that, like this really is your seed. So, but yeah, bro. Um, so out of the siblings that you did grow up with, how was it going through these situations and being the oldest of the ones that you you know was around? Like, was it that you did you feel that you needed to basically get them the peace of mind? Did you know how, or was it more so, I'm going through so much, I really can't help nobody else right now. I'm trying to figure this out myself first.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

Uh man, for quite some time, that's that's literally where I was at. Like, it's so much stuff just hitting me left and right, left and right. Like, I can't even, you know, focus on nothing but my own peace, my own sanity. And I'm, you know, I'm again I'm a kid. I ain't even a whole I ain't even a teenager yet. I'm a preteen. Right, right. Uh man, um uh shoot, man.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

Like, take your time, bro.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Um I had to uh I had to realize, like, 'cause for for a minute, um, it didn't really resonate with me that my brothers actually like looked up to me and watched everything I was doing. Uh like for me, you know, acting out and, you know, just being in the streets all the time and all that shit, like my brothers was watching that shit, and they eventually got to doing the same shit I was doing. So once I realized that, bro, I had to switch how I was moving and actually be a positive role model of big brothers, like, right. Cause shit, it was points of time where shit, I I was the man of the house for a minute. And uh shit, I had to look after me and my brother. Shit, I hit the streets, go do whatever just so I can get them some food. Like, bro, like it was it was tough. Like, whole lot of stuff, man. Whole lot of stuff. Uh I ain't gonna overdo that. I'm gonna Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

I mean that's but that's good that you were still thinking about them. So you know what I'm saying? A lot of guys out here, they do whatever and don't really care. They'll look back and see that they uh siblings or the youth is looking up to them, and then they're gonna apply more pressure. They like, nah, this is the way to go. Let's hit the streets, let's, you know what I'm saying? They don't care about, oh, I'm the role model. They don't care about none of that because they still, whether it's like, well, this is just what I want to do, or this the only way that I see is out for us. And just to be real, bro, I think us being born into like we all, me, you, keys, all of us, bro, we born in the trenches, bro. So it's instantly fight or flight. Like we instantly, you know what I'm saying? You gotta figure it out quick. You gotta figure it out quick. So it's like sometimes the what's the first thing you're gonna see? Drug dealers, street niggas, uh pimps, you know what I'm saying? That type of shit. So it's like nah, we just on some, okay, which one am I gonna be? We don't we don't really see, oh, I could just be a doctor. You know doctors, but shit, most of them is like Indians and white people, and you know what I'm saying? Yeah, we got black doctors and shit, not saying we don't, but the vast majority is not what we see in. It ain't enough of us in them fields, right? But look at how many of us is in the field. That part right there, right? So that's where we just uh it ain't it hey bro, how is it so easy for us to get a switch? How is it that easy? It's easier to get a switch than a diploma, bro. Facts. So it's and it's so crazy because we are faced with so much adversity at birth. Like we we inherit the beef of America, bro. We impaired the beef of our neighborhood, we inherit the beef of our parents, we inherit the beef of our siblings. And it's like when we go through our shit, the world don't really have sympathy for us to really get the shit off our chest the proper way. It's like get that shit off your chest, but do it on your own time. These bullets flying, bro. You ain't got time to be sitting back being still uh having the heart. You you can't really think. You gotta be on go. You gotta think, you gotta multitask in the process. How can I keep my grades up when it ain't no food in the refrigerator? I go on the refrigerator, I look in that motherfucker, it's a pitcher of water, a bottle of ketchup, and a stick of butter. I close that bitch and open it back up, thinking something else gonna appear. It's the same shit. A third time, let me see. And it's the same shit. And you thinking, what can I make with this shit? Nothing. So you gotta eat sleep for the night. You gotta eat sleep for the next couple nights into something shape, and it's like we go through so much of this shit, bro. And it's one thing that I realized, bro, and it's sad to say it, but nobody is coming to save you, bro. At all. It's up to you to save yourself, for real. Facts. So we all at beef with each other because we at beef with ourselves. We at war with ourselves, we at war with our community, bro. But we all really got the same for the most part. I feel we all got the same goal is to live, to thrive, yeah, to be on top, but we don't know how to do it the proper way. So we fight each other. We like, shit, my man's just got a scat pack. Let me go rob him so I can have one. Instead of me working for it, as much work as you putting in to rob the next man, you could have put in that same work with no uh consequences to do the shit for yourself. And it's just like, where do we how do we make this a better situation? What what ways do you think we can get the community and the villages and shit back on one accord to where we not under the influence no more? The world is the world is addicts, bro. Everybody addicted to toxicity nowadays.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

Everybody addicted to something.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Facts. It's whether it's money, drugs, sex, whatever, everything is an addiction now. It's not that you just like it. You gotta they try to force you to love shit now. Let me go follow the trend. Let me go get pineapples and Kool-Aid. Why the fuck is it always motherfuckers try to make you like everything, bro? I don't want to get that.

SPEAKER_00 21:39

Everything fucking trends, bro.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

Yes, bro. It's like if you ain't do the trend, you ain't nobody.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

Man, I'm not I'm not falling for that. This is why I stay off the the social media is now like, bro. Like, this probably like the longest break I done took from like social media. Like, I deactivated my Facebook. Book shit. I'm I don't even be on Snap, barely be on Instagram. I still keep my vest here just in case you know a family member reach out or something, but ain't nobody hit my line, my phone dries. I don't know what. Man.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

Because that's why I let my phone, my old number, I let it go off. I just went and got me a new number some years ago. And people like, why you ain't give me your number? Just two, three years later. Why you ain't give me your number? Because when you had my number, you never used it. That part. Why you want to know? Like, but the my phone was not ringing. Unless you needed something out of me. You never called me to just check on me and say, hey bro, how you doing?

SPEAKER_00 22:51

Or at least hang out or something. Like, bro.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

But but see, I feel you, but I don't even need to hang. At least check on my mental. That's right. I've been grieving. We've been grieving. As a community, we've been grieving, bro. Holler at me. Even though, B, even though I don't know what you go through on a day-to-day, I still call and say what? How you doing, bro? You check on. Exactly. I don't even need to be talking about shit. Just as long as you good, I'm good. Like what? Hit up Keys. Hit up Vince. Sometimes I don't want shit. It's just how y'all doing. Cause ain't nobody checking. I know niggas wasn't checking on me, so I'm like, they probably ain't checking on them either. Let me be the one that's checking on them then. While I'm going through my shit, I'm like, shit, I don't give a fuck. I'm yeah, I am overwhelmed, but let me check and make sure they're not on the deep end. Cause something keeps reeling me back when I get to that point. It's my kids. When I get on the deep end, my kids back uh uh bring me back. Like, yeah, you can't stay out on that ledge for too long. You might you might not want to jump, but you might just trip and fall. So I'm like, let me check on them. When I met all of y'all in different seasons, bro, I never was the type in that moment to be like, let me force a relationship with nobody. I'm like, it was shit that you would talk about that I would hear at your shot, shit that Keith would talk about, Vance, just different stuff. And I say with all of y'all, I'm like, I ain't gonna force a friendship on nobody, but I know we gonna be cool. At some point, I already knew it. Like, because I'm like, y'all my type of dogs. Like y'all y'all are like how I was. We all came from the trenches, but we we trying to make something better than just falling into the average, let me go be a street nigga, woo-woop woop. Even if we did dibble and dabble here and there on certain shit, we still for the most part like, yeah, at some point that ain't getting me nowhere. Uh-uh. Shit. At some point, we gotta do better. And I recognize that in y'all, and I'm like, damn, we kings in this motherfucker. Even if the the masses don't recognize it, hey, we got one foot up on the competition because we working. We working. And I ain't talking about working in somebody's business, I'm talking about we working on us. No matter how hard it's been, no matter what we've been going through adversity, we found time to laugh, we found time to exercise, you know what I'm saying? Who whatever it might have been, uh make music together, films. Uh, yeah, with you, it's been so much as far as shit. We done celebrated our birthdays and going out to just do different activities and whatnot. With Keith uh for his birthday one year, we hit Vegas. Man. Um, with Vince, it's the different series and music and the podcast, and just this is a part of life that we should all experience. Not saying that it gotta be what we've done, but experience what you want to do to bring yourself up out the rut to change what your mind been used to. Yeah, you gotta break that cycle, man. Facts. Facts. So do you wanna go a little more into your your childhood or like you don't have to go back to where we was at, but like it could be some brighter days, some some days that you just had, some some fun shit that just stuck stuck out to you.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

Something uh that really stuck out to me. Uh didn't really realize it, like living in the moment, like as a kid, but going back to the uh like our generation, I don't know if y'all did, but we call it the like the green box days. Like it was the times where you know kids, they get to be out before uh street lights come on. Everybody used to like just be in the whole uh field, just by the green boxes, the little energy box of just hanging out, just being kids, just playing outside, football, shit, basketball, playing uh curveball, whatever. Just just being outdoors. Like we was like the last, last generation to really be outside for real. And that was the Detroit side or the Chicago side?

SPEAKER_01 28:01

That was the Chicago side, Chicago side. So tell me, because of course I visited Chicago, but I don't know that atmosphere back then. Because people nowadays always talk about the old Chicago was way better where you could actually go out, dance, party, whatever you don't, you know what I'm saying? It wasn't all just gunplay.

SPEAKER_00 28:22

Yeah, nowadays you uh you really too much can't uh like if you look in, if you looking for trouble, you're gonna find that type of trouble. Um but majority man, all the safe places, safe havens, like in the downtown space, downtown area, uh like coming up. Um, bro, we uh we didn't really see too much of the uh the negative side of stuff. Like everybody like portrayed, I didn't start seeing like the bad stuff of the city until like the like the early tens for real, like during the drill movement, drill era. I was out there around that time. Even that was an experience. Shit. That uh it was crazy out there.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

Um old was you when that first that whole drill scene first started coming into fruition?

SPEAKER_00 29:18

Uh I was like I was like 13, 14 when it started happening, but when it really caught light, I was like 15, 16 when the world seen it. Right.

SPEAKER_01 29:28

You know, I was already damn near done with high school by the time so but shit, so you were in the mix with all of them then, like the ages of like the chief keeps and all of them. Yeah, we run so the crazy part is you could have been in the mix of all of that shit. Like, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 29:45

And my head was in the books, bro. I wasn't in none of that shit, bro. I'm I'm people outside in the streets with tools, and I'm in school with a damn trumpet. I'm in band camp. They in damn in the field with it. I'm on the field. Two different scenes. But no, so look, that's the thing.

SPEAKER_01 30:03

I I salute you for that too. But you know how sometimes you ain't gotta even be looking for it and it just find you. And it's like how that look, it looked like it's hard to avoid it. That's the outside looking in. It looked like it's it's hard to avoid it because all that's being broadcast. You don't think Chicago is nothing but drill. That's that's literally what it looked like. And I found out that's not the truth when I visited, but when I saw that, it was so crazy, bro, because I have a I had a liking for everybody. Everybody, I'm like, damn, they all talented. But when I started seeing, and I like the drill music, but I didn't, I started growing a disdain for it when I started seeing all these rappers dying. Because I wasn't seeing rappers dying, I was seeing black kids dying. I was seeing a bunch of my brothers dying. I was seeing a bunch of our sons dying. I was seeing a bunch of fathers dying. And I'm like, for what?

SPEAKER_00 31:13

That ain't even that don't even uh amount to the other innocent lives that they got caught in the crossfires of all this. All this madness, bro, the kids, the the women, the elderly, like bro. Right.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

Hearing somebody mama scream out, my baby, all that type of shit, it's like, yeah, why is we doing this? Because it's a forever cycle. Cause now your youth, whoever you raising, or whoever your fans might be, they feel they need to get get back now. Now they inheriting beef they got might not have nothing to do with. And now they family involved. So now they family coming for them. And it's just like, damn, bro, like how the how do we get better when this is all that they broadcast in this females shaking ass, and they got us shooting shit. Now the female shooting shit too though. Like they got the females on some straight G.I. Jane type shit. Like, I'm in this motherfucker. Hey, you damn near, they they say like Chicago women, Detroit women, St. Louis women. It's like all one and the same. Like just tough as hell. New York women too. Just tough as hell. Like, it's like, damn, bro, like, where's the love at?

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Ain't no love for real out in this time, man. Everybody wanna be cut. The savagery. Man. Facts.

SPEAKER_01 32:48

Facts, bro. And I'm just like, it's so crazy because everybody ain't even equipped for this shit. Not at all. They think it's a game. They think it's GTA. You pop back up at the nearest hospital. No, you do.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

You're done, you're done. You don't get no comeback, bro. Ain't no respawn. This ain't Call of Duty, bro. Man.

SPEAKER_01 33:09

And it's so crazy because it's like, damn. Like, I tell my sons all the time, I'm like, look, I got to the point where I stopped telling them, don't do shit, right? I'm like, I'm gonna let you know. Whatever you do in life, consequences coming with that. One consequence to you doing street shit, I can't promise I'm gonna be there for you. Just to be real. Because if you jeopardizing your siblings' life, your mama's lives, and my life, you out your shit. I can't I can't promise you I'm coming to save you, bro. Because you don't have to do it. This is a different life where we all can see we got different and more and better opportunities. You don't even have to go and work a job no more. You are the business. So why is it that you feel like you gotta go and be with a gang of other niggas and you don't even know that whole time they gonna backday you? You go to you go to the you go get locked up, they gonna hit your girl.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

Yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

They're gonna hit the stash, they taking everything, they're gonna be wearing your clothes while you locked up. They looking like you. They walking around this bitch with some shit you just bought. Feeling good as fuck, and it's your shit. So it's like it's like, bro, you can't I can't let y'all go out like that. I'ma tell y'all it's family first. But also don't let your family get you in no bullshit. You gotta know. I tell my sons, even if I tell you something, do your own research. People lose their minds every day. You don't know if your pop's in the right mindset until you know if he's in the right mindset. I could be high as hell, I could be, you know what I'm saying, just out of my shit. I could my losses in life could just randomly take me out of there. It ain't gonna happen. Because, you know, I'm just standing above that. But I'm just saying hypothetically, it's so easy for somebody to lose their mind. You gotta watch their mannerisms, you gotta think for yourself, and sometimes you can't just let people tell you whatever it's gonna be. You gotta live for yourself because hey bro, you might have even gone through this where you find out adults as jealous of you as a kid.

SPEAKER_00 35:45

I'm going through that shit currently, bro.

SPEAKER_01 35:51

And that's what's crazy, bro. We we have these situations, and we are not even taught how to get around or move maneuver around this toxicity. It's all shut up, you a kid. How do you teach me? How do I develop mentally when you always put me in the box? So that's why we go through more shit growing through life. Because we always was taught shut the fuck up. Yeah. So, okay, if I gotta shut the fuck up, I know you ain't listening. I know ain't nobody coming to save me. What do I do? Where's my safe haven? These mamas out here raising their daughters to not give a fuck about me, neither. So where do we go from here?

SPEAKER_00 36:45

Man, we gotta uh we need more unity, man. Like the the village ain't a village no more, bro. Like at all. And all this media, man, they just pushing the negative, dog. We need to uh push peace, positivity. Like I like that's why I slipped back from the music I was making, bro, because I was making like just any type of music, just promoting the bullshit. Like, I don't want to make music like that, bro. I want to like have something, I wanna have a message, something positive, something like I can look back on and be like, alright, you know, they took something and did something with the words I said. I don't uh I ain't with that, bro.

SPEAKER_01 37:26

And it's crazy because you see how easy it used to be, bro.

SPEAKER_02 37:30

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

It's so easy to talk about negative shit. It's super easy. It's super easy. Look at all the kids that do it. I'll be like, damn, this little nigga really fluent. But he just talking about killing niggas though. It's like, damn, bro, how you put all this shit together like that? And that's a struggle I've had throughout the years not supporting that type of music. Because I don't want niggas to die, but I just like the flow. So it was a struggle for me, like, damn, this nigga talking about this. I'm like, why he can't just talk about other life experiences? Because I still support. Bro, got that bag, he knows how to talk. Like, he can put words together. Great. One person that I liked a lot, bro. I I loved his music, his flow, everything that could do all of it. Cold switch, everything, juice world. Hell yeah. Oh man, freestyle God, RIP the juice RIP, R.I.P. the juice, man. No cap. And I'm just like, I see he had like a 16-minute freestyle. Then they were saying how he does a song and do like three, four different versions to the same song and might not even use it, and then go do some more versions to the same song. It's like, God damn, how you that talented? Where is this shit coming from?

SPEAKER_00 39:04

Yeah, yeah, bro was uh he was definitely talented, dog. Uh I hate that he went out, you know, so soon. He was so young, man. He literally was the same age as my little brother that made music. And my brother Zeus actually remind me so much of uh Juice World. Like, shoot. Like his influence is definitely from Juice, Dirk, X, like all them. But this gone too soon, bro. Gone too soon. We got a lot of speaker knockers.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

Uh other from other uh cities and shit too. We got, like you said, X. X, we got P A lot of people. Yeah, uh most recent, Rich Homie. It's like you never think this shit gonna happen. You would be looking up to them as far as the success go, and next thing you know, they get they get took out their glow too soon. It's like, damn, you just got here. Even though Rich Homie has been doing it for what a decade, damn near, it's like I'm saying as far as being on top, but I'm saying it still was too soon. Way too soon, man. It's too soon. We get they got the rock and roll joints, all of them, they be damn near 150 years old, and they still touring. Our people dying at 15, 20, 34, like, bro, what the hell going on? Like, and we put a crazy amount of pressure on each other where everything is about snitching and not snitching, and did you come from this? Did you not come from this? Is you real? Is you not real? I don't hear none of this shit in no other genre. And they all successful as hell. All they greats is just they get to just gracefully bow out when they ready. And then it's a sad day when they bow out. It ain't with us, it's like we waiting on a nigga to trip on stage. We want to go to the show to throw a bottle at a nigga. Like, what the fuck? When did that become a thing? I'ma pay a ticket to assault you. But tell me how many times y'all haven't either heard it or seen it, bro.

SPEAKER_00 41:29

Man, hundreds of times, bro. That shit is not right, man.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

It's like, bro, the shit is insane. The shit happening to the greats, it happened to Wayne, happening to people running up at the baby and trying to antagonize you, and just it's like, bro, we are already, all of us are going through our own.

SPEAKER_00 41:50

Ready going through shit, bro. And we wanna. I don't I don't understand why why our people, not not most of us, but it's it's a nice portion that love to see us down, love to see us fall. Like we get to a certain point, oh, I ain't there. Let me hate on him. Man, like what the fuck? You supposed to see somebody doing something, you know, good, better for themselves. You supposed to want to go out yourself and go get that shit. You don't want to sit back, hate on the next month. Like, bro, no.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

Hey, shout out to Charleston. Man, he's playing on some real shit. I think everybody playing.

SPEAKER_00 42:32

Facts. Facts.

SPEAKER_01 42:34

Everybody get caught up on what he's talking about. This is why I can't get involved in the conversation when I speak on Charleston. A lot of people don't like it or it rubbed them the wrong way because they start saying he talk crazy. But this is my point of view from it. Niggas is killing niggas, but y'all worried about what he saying. Make it make sense. Y'all killing us off, but y'all offended that he's saying something. Y'all are actually killing us though. If it became a race war today, we gonna lose because niggas gonna kill each other before they even kill the niggas we supposed to be going against. Man, already doing it. Not uh promoting that, because I'm not with no race wars and shit like that, but I'm just giving an example. Like hypothetically, we rather kill each other than go against the real problem. Not even saying we gotta go against the real problem with violence, but we don't want to attack the problem.

SPEAKER_00 43:33

Yeah, bro, it ain't no unity, man.

SPEAKER_01 43:35

Facts. It ain't no unity, and the pro you know it's so crazy because the problem to me mainly was just the system. Now we are a part of the problem though. Because we fall in line with the system of the stereotypes. Oh, they all just want to go drink, shake their ass, and kill everybody. That's what it's looking like. And that's not all of us, but that's the majority of what's being promoted online. That's the majority of what you see down the street. You'll see somebody get busted in the head with a bottle before you see somebody pick somebody up off the ground.

SPEAKER_00 44:15

Facts. You'll see motherfuckers rob a liquor store on Facebook Live before they go get back to the community, go help. Facts. Do a damn food drive or some shit. Like, bro.

SPEAKER_01 44:27

I saw a video I had to instantly exit off of it, bro. They jumping old ladies, bro. I'm like, what, bro? What is what type of dopamine or what are you getting out of this? What what is really getting you off on beating up old people? I never understood that. People even used to do that when I was in high school. It'll be an old, maybe a fiend or something at the bus stop. They'll go hit them in the face and then they take off running, or they might jump them. What are you getting out of that though?

SPEAKER_00 45:02

It's evil, bro. It's an evil word.

SPEAKER_01 45:04

It's like I would say, what if that was your pops or your uncle or brother or something? But they'll do it to their own too.

SPEAKER_00 45:11

They will.

SPEAKER_01 45:12

So it's like, I just saw one, and this is why I say your man's a backdoorie. I saw this one video. Dog was like, I'm your OG. You gotta respect me on a dead homies. The young nigga just went off on him, just knocked him out for after he said that. And it's like, bro, why are you trying to reason with somebody that they wanna be known as being insane? Everybody wanna be known as being insane. Everybody wanna be the toughest. Everybody wanna disrespect everybody with no consequences. They think that they are the master. Everybody thinks they're the final boss that you gotta win.

SPEAKER_00 46:00

You ain't Leroy, man. You ain't the master, though. Shit.

SPEAKER_01 46:07

That's that's the reality though. Everybody thinks they the one.

SPEAKER_00 46:11

It's always somebody bigger and better than the always somebody bigger and better. Or just or somebody that just wanna make it home. That part. They ain't even gotta be able to do that. Somebody got some somebody with something to lose. Nobody they don't have shit to lose out here, bro.

SPEAKER_01 46:27

I just want to make it home. That's it. And you in my way to make it home, so I gotta renew, move you by any way possible. And it's like, come on, we glorifying too much bullshit. Everybody worried about who's snitching. I don't give a fuck. Y'all was taught to snitch when y'all was kids. Y'all mama told y'all to tell. Y'all mama told y'all, if just don't tell the business that's in this house. And it's like, for me, I wouldn't even be caught in that situation because I'm not hanging with nobody too tell on. Like, I it ain't, it's not even gonna be nowhere around me for that to even be. Oh, I wonder if he told. If you're doing something, don't even come around me because I'm not going. So it's never gonna be a time that I have to tell because I'm not even gonna be around it. Yeah, you gotta separate yourself from all that shit immediately. Immediately. And I've been cool with so many, bro. Street niggas, uh, just shooters, everything, but I'm not around them, so nobody can never question. Did you see this? What was he at when whoop whoop whoop. They know not to even be around me or ask, say nothing around me. I tell my cousin, bro, don't call my phone telling me nothing, bro. My phone might be tapped. You don't know, bro. You paranoid, bro. Well, I'm gonna be paranoid then, and I'm not gonna be questioned by nobody. So when you get locked up and now you being questioning everybody else, okay, am I still paranoid? Everybody wanna scam and then leave receipts on my phone. You don't call me, don't text me about nothing, none of that. Damn near don't even talk to me in person about nothing because your phone is listening, my nigga.

SPEAKER_00 48:28

Yeah, gotta leave that shit alone, bro. I can't even. Facts. I'm good on it.

SPEAKER_01 48:36

Facts. But let's get back in the game, bro. Um so after, you know, all of the the childhood traumas, how do you feel like that, where do you feel like that had you at after you got into your teenage years, like I say 14, 15-ish, all of that. Like where did that have you at at that point?

SPEAKER_00 49:03

Um I um shit, I pretty much I just adapted to it, bro. I I just adapted to it. You know, I stopped holding on to like the negatives that kept me feeling like low as hell. And I just started living for me like at that point. Uh I ended up actually leaving uh the house like at the age of 16. Um I had got um my first little spot when I was like 17. And when I actually came back out here to Detroit uh from Chicago, I had gone to um Northwestern High School. And shout out to Eno. Man, Eno, man. But uh I actually ran across one of my brothers there, like from my donor, and we uh we came became best friends before we even knew that we was ken. And uh he uh he ended up passing. Uh like my senior year, uh he had got murdered. Um shit, one of his uh he was supposed to be um with um one of his his best friends, his close friend. Uh it was supposed to be in job core um in Ohio somewhere. Turned out this this man was actually out here like in the trap house.

SPEAKER_02 50:29

What?

SPEAKER_00 50:30

Yeah. Um shit. Uh his OG um thought he was in school still. I thought he was in school still because he just stopped coming to uh to school like that winter. Uh yeah, and shit, me, him and his best friend, like we all used to hang out together and shit. And when he actually passed, I didn't even hear it from him. Shit, I heard it from uh like a uh fucking mutual um that we had at school. Yeah. And I'm finding out through kick. This is the damn kick days at the time, yeah. Uh man, that was that was that was a little time too. But uh, yeah, I ain't gonna lie, um, when that happened, I probably stopped, I stopped talking for like a good three months, went mute. I started uh I started partaking in uh like the drugs and shit. I used to smoke heavy, like smoke weed heavy. Uh and I had picked up a lean habit. Uh and shit, I eventually had um shit couldn't handle uh being in that crib. So I ended up moving in with um one of my uncles. Uh I damn near didn't uh graduate from high school either, like because of you know all what was going on. I took that, like losing my brother pretty hard. Uh but I ended up like just pushing through that shit. Um, I just looked at it like man, this nigga ain't get to ain't get to graduate, get to walk across the stage, let me do it for him, type shit. Do it for his mama. That's what's like me and his OG had had got close uh like during that time too. So yeah. Oh yeah. That was that.

SPEAKER_01 52:38

Man, yeah, that's crazy, bro, to have to deal with those type of deaths, like at your younger, younger years, and then while you're still in school, because a lot of people don't gotta deal with. I didn't deal with that, so I I wouldn't even knew how to deal with that just off the simple fact that bro, I damn near didn't know how to deal with deaths I dealt with at an as an adult. So as a child, when I saw people losing people, I'm like, damn, how do they because I'm not in your mind, so I'm like, how do they still go through life? Like what are they thinking about? Like what is your day-to-day after this stuff has transpired? Because I know you're not living the same mentally in these moments.

SPEAKER_00 53:29

Uh shit, it was it was a shit ton of crying, bro. Like, that's what got me through it was was was crying, because shit, I ain't I ain't had nobody to talk to. And then like the people I did think that I could talk to, like, before before uh my brother passed, like we had hella, hella uh friends, hella everybody, you know, all want to be around us, this, that, and the third. Man, as soon as he was gone, bro, I literally had nothing, like nobody. Like down to some of my family, like, I wasn't hearing nothing of nobody. I um I just spoke to my mama about this, about that happening uh maybe like a month ago. Like, I I told her like everything I had gone through and that she, you know, she didn't know I was dealing with that. Yeah. But at the same time, you know, I was alone. Yeah. Uh but yeah, man, just shit. I I I had the, I did a lot of a lot of isolation, a lot of meditation, and a lot of just releasing them emotions like the best way I could. Only way I knew I I could was just by, you know, letting tears roll. Yeah. But yeah, I and you don't really heal from shit like that.

SPEAKER_01 54:51

So yeah, and that's like a double grieving mode too, because not only did you lose somebody to death, but you lost people to them revealing themselves that they wasn't really there for you in the first place. So what is that like when the mask comes off and it's like, damn, I thought you was for me. Like I thought you was here.

SPEAKER_00 55:19

I it I I love when when people show me who they really are because that just makes it easier for me to just separate myself. I ain't gotta deal with that, you know, you not really for me, cool. I don't have to, I don't have to deal with it. I really don't. Like, that's where I'm at right now. I'm I'm just separate myself, separate myself, separate myself. If it's not for me, I don't want it. Like, literally. If it's if it's not uplifting you, it's shifting you, bro. Like, like I like nobody is exempt from our cutoff game, bro. Like nobody. Gotta keep some scissors with you at all times, bro. Facts. Got the edge trimmers, bro. Fucking weed whacker, nigga. Excuse my language. Nah. Nah, you good, bro. But um, yeah, man, I uh you really gotta, you you gotta detach from whatever not, you know, serving you. So serving your purpose, bro.

SPEAKER_01 56:25

So what role like do you feel as if in these moments that you had like self-awareness at that early age?

SPEAKER_00 56:33

To an extent, uh, not fully, because it was a lot of stuff that I didn't understand. Like I'm still just learning, walking through life. Like I I didn't really have uh a lot of guidance. Like a lot of shit I had to get on my own accord, like pretty much like everybody else, but right. But still, um man, uh I lost my trade of thought.

SPEAKER_01 57:05

No, you good. It's just you know, when you come back around to it, it's just about your self-awareness. Just um do you feel like you had it at that early age? Like, did you know, like, okay, this is my triggers, or um I like this, this might add to my happiness. This don't really make me feel too good. Uh, you know, just different stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 57:33

Um, I had like it was a certain awareness here and there. I wasn't like super aware. Cause I I ain't gonna lie, like I used to uh I used to distract myself a lot. That was another thing. I um like all the stuff I was dealing with, yeah, uh, I used to vent through uh gaming, video games. Same here. So a lot of the times, shit, I ain't really have nowhere to go to or look to. Shit, I'm my face in the video game. I'm learning a lot of stuff that I did learn came from there, or like just the shows I watched. Like I learned a lot from outside sources other than my own people. My people showed me like what not to be.

SPEAKER_01 58:23

So would you say, how would you say there was any role models or it was non-existent?

SPEAKER_00 58:33

I I had a select few like bits and pieces. I try to just take the good things from wherever I'm you know observing versus the the negatives that they do.

SPEAKER_01 58:48

Um so anybody you want to like point out that had a positive impact on your life?

SPEAKER_00 58:58

Uh my pops, uh, like my brother's uh biological father, my dad, he definitely uh he definitely had a positive um impact on me. Like, ain't nobody perfect, uh but you know you do what you can and he did his best to make sure that um he did his best to make sure that uh we didn't really look at life like the normal um just in a bad light, the normal bad light. Like my pops, he he was he super positive person, even though he go sh went through hella shit. Like shit, he lost his OG when he was just 13, 14. And man, I ain't seen my dad cry at all until I was like early 20s. So like he he always been been been solid, rock hard, solid. He ain't never like full or none of that. So did he tell you how that made him feel? He did, he did, he definitely did, he definitely did. Uh shit, he he told me a lot of shit that he ain't never talked to nobody about. Um I'll say that my pops was like the first person to actually show me like it's okay to talk about what the hell is going on with you. Yes. Um shit another uh positive role model I had, um, I'd say for quite some time was uh my Uncle Kelvin. Um I definitely uh looked up to him for a while. Shit, my Uncle Maury too. Um uh the rapping. I got that from uh Uncle Maury. You know, I used to watch them like when we were real little, they used to uh have all their homies come through and they'd just be uh recording music. Like they had their own little group back in the early thousands and shit, the 90s. Shit, my Uncle Kelvin. Um Wait, real quick, is that Chicago or Detroit Uncles? These Detroit uncles. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:30

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:31

Uh my Uncle Kelvin, um, I looked at him like on the militant side. Like he was more like street smart, street uh savvy, um, just just just militant as hell. Like he he uh he was very like um I don't know. Like no nonsense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He ain't tolerate, like, he's very strict, you know, basically tried to mold me. Basically tried to mold me into like just just be a good man. Just be a good man. Um but yeah, uh and a lot of other role models I had came from like just watching uh the media, like movies, TV, shows like that. Um yeah, I really didn't. I had I had a select few. I had a select few. Right. That's what's up.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:31

That's what's up. Um you know what I I really uh start thinking about? A lot of times we will go through so much or have so many negative experiences with people that we don't recognize the good that they have done. And it's like sometimes, just to be real, bro, it'll be like certain people like, damn, you could have been anything in the world, but you chose to be rich. Like you really could have guided us all down the right direction, but you chose that lane. You could teach us to be real solid men, you could teach your daughters to be real stand-up women, but you choose to show us, you you chose the page on this book that was just nonsense, and you want us to elaborate on this. So it'll be times where they might have gave you certain great experiences as a child that you just like, damn, I didn't even remember that. And what made me think about it is me and uh me and Quiz had did an episode, and I was just like, I don't really have um examples of black women, you know, contributing to our mental peace. But then as time went on, like I had wound up getting locked up and shit like that, and then I'm like, damn, but I I got examples because my baby mama showed up, my mama showed up, best friends showed up, uh my son's grandma, everybody like even just putting money on my phone was good enough. I'm like, that was a peace of mind because I was able to talk, you know what I'm saying? Like I was able to, and I'm like, damn, they did other shit along the way that got overshadowed because of how much other bullshit came with it. And it's like, what why do you think people do that, bro? They will cut you and then feel like either they're gonna watch you stit yourself back up or or stitch your wound up they self and then think they're gonna get the same you the second, third, and fourth time around.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:53

Get that same version. Um I honestly uh it's uh I feel like you know people um they get it's a it's it's like you said, it's that cycle, bro. That that trauma, that shit get passed down. It's like I went through some bullshit, so you gotta go through some bullshit. So like, bro, man, I uh I don't I don't feel as though like that that need to be talked about more. That need to be talked about more like in the community, our community, for real, for real. Um we gotta break that that cycle, bro. We gotta break that that chain. Uh My bad, man, my bad.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:28

You can take your time, bro. Um, you right though. We we do need to break a lot of these curses. Um the most the the craziest thing, bro, is that we all on this planet to pass information and knowledge just all kinds of knowledge generation to generation. But the thing that we tend to pass on the most is debt and toxicity and beef. We don't really have positive stuff passing through the generations. It's just you wake up one morning and find out your mama into it with your aunties. And it's like, well, damn, let me understand why they into it. And you try to be a family person, and then you start getting scolded by them people and you start seeing, okay, well now I see why. Like, because y'all for self. Like, y'all don't care about nobody else. I had one uh one of my mama sisters used to do this. She would do shit for you, but have it on the stream. Just so she could throw it back in your face later. No, so she can reel it back in from you to show you it's really hers and not yours. That's wrong. So I was 19, right? She knew how I love basketball and shit like that. I was really, that was when I was really just because I was still learning the game and all that. Because I ain't gonna hold you. I was a late bloomer in the game. Like, I didn't understand the concept of basketball when I was a kid because my pops used to always put basketball before me in that moment. So it would be like he'll be watching the game. I'm hungry as hell. I'm like, can we go get something to eat? He like, yeah, halftime. I'm like, when is halftime? He like in 10 minutes. But on in TV time, 10 minutes is like 40 minutes. So I'm like, damn, like what the f so I had a hate for basketball at first. I didn't even care to learn how to hoop. Like, I go out and shoot with the other kids and all that, but I didn't take it serious at all. But so anyway, fast forward. So she bought me a basketball this one year. But she made when it was time for me to go back home, she made me keep the ball at her house. I'm like, well, this ain't my body. It's like, why tell me you bought me something for you to keep it on a string like you dangling the carrot, like I'm some horse or something. Like you got the carrot in front of me so I can walk, but I never get it. Like, it's not, it's really for rent. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, and I was just, I'm like, damn, why do it be like that with people? So for me, I used to take situations like that super personal. Cause I used to look at it like everybody was out to get me. Like, every time I would different family members, it's like you I'm looking at everybody like y'all don't really fuck with me, mama and pop. So I used to think I was adopted, bro. I'm like, why the fuck would y'all adopt me and y'all don't even like me? It's crazy because I'm like, I don't feel loved. I don't feel like this is family, bro. Like people want to treat you how they want to treat you without you saying shit about it. It's like, no, like you said, I went through shit. You gotta go through shit, but you don't have to force negativity on me just because you went through it. Why why can't you break the cycle before you ever met me? So you gonna intentionally inflict pain on me because you went through it? Make that shit make sense. It don't, and it won't ever make sense. That shit. Right. So as a child, like you said, bro, I I didn't have a sense of safety. It was that's where my anxiety initially stemmed from. Always feeling like I gotta defend myself. Growing up, my my OG getting beat on by my siblings, uh Pops. I'm like, yes, up, nigga. I'm fighting this nigga. I'm 6'7. Hey, I'm blow to blow, like scrapping, because I'm like, nigga, you out your shit. You fighting my OG like nigga, she a nigga in the street, nigga. Bro, for the longest, bro, when I was a kid, I made my mind up. I said, when I'm when I get old enough, I'm killing this nigga, bro. Real shit. However, I because I know I'm gonna find you. I'm killing this nigga. You know what made me not do it? I had sympathy for my siblings. I said, if I kill them, for whatever reason, they love this bitch ass nigga, so I can't kill him.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:39

Yeah, that'd be taking him away from them.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:42

Not only is that taking them from him, that's taking me from them too, so I can't even teach them what's next. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:50

Real shit, bro.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:51

So I'll it was just fight or flight, fight or flight, fight or flight. Then I'm going through all these different uh situations in life where it's uh protective service being called. Hey, it hit different when your family calling on your OG. What do family mean though?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:18

Man, family just a word, bro.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:20

I hear blood is thicker than water, liquor is too. Everybody drunk. For real, everybody out here drunk as hell, bro. Man, y'all doing real goofy, stupid, wild ass shit. For what? Y'all know how hard it is out here. Y'all uprooting our family. We going through so much shit, bro. It's times, bro. I will randomly just, bro, my mentor was so fucked up growing up because of all these episodes, nigga. Child protective services, court dates, police, me scrapping, my OG scrapping, me questioning my pops, like, my nigga, what the fuck is you doing? Like, you letting me go through this? Like, it's so many different situations. I'm just like, nigga, ain't none of y'all for me, nigga. And I'm like trying to figure this shit out. And I'm bro, I tell people all the time, I said, if I knew you could, if I knew running away was a real thing, like you could run away and actually survive, I would have been dead that shit. Like at a super early age, nigga, I would have been seven years old on the Greyhound to the next big pig. Nah, for real. I don't give a fuck where you take me just out of here. Like, and so many people just try to shut me up throughout these years, bro. And I'm like, why do you want me to be quiet? That's why you can't heal because you want me to be quiet. People probably told you to be quiet. Stay in the child's place. I'm in the child's place and I'm being abused. Help me. You gotta do better, man. Facts. Gotta do better, dog. Facts. And nobody wants to take accountability. And that's where we gonna go with it, bro. Why why do you think our village will not they refuse accountability?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:39

Everybody wanna be the victim. Everybody wanna uh blame somebody other than themselves for whatever the hell they got going on. When nine times out of ten, your own actions got you to wherever the hell you at right now. Um my biggest thing right now is is accountability. I know I didn't do what I needed to do to get to A. So here come B. Like, bro, you gotta, you really gotta uh be on your shit out here, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:20

Um, I definitely appreciate you, like yet again coming through. This has been a great episode. Uh I'm proud of you on everything you accomplished so far in life. Thank you. Um love you, G. Love you too, bro. Um spirit. Shit. Until next, well, actually, no. This is part one of many to come. Yeah, this is definitely part one. Definitely part one. Yeah, this part one of many to come. And hey, this has been therapy in motion with my dog, very special guest, my brother B. Uh shit, until next time. We out.